Testing the Water

 esteven knows how nervous I am about posting this fic. I’ve decided to post it here under friendslock. If anyone on my friendlist has the time to read, please feel free to comment. I’m open to suggestions. You may even think the story is weak, doesn’t make sense, or need a serious grammar check. Please say so. I’m weird like that and would rather hear something constructive than post garbage to a community.

Oh, and I’m horrible with titles. *g*

Title: I’ve Got Your Back
Fandom: RPS Pairing
Pairing: Jake Gyllenhaal/Health Ledger
Rating: NC17

Heath folds the dishtowel in a square and places it on the countertop near the kitchen sink. Pots, pans, and dishes are all cleaned. Heath enjoys an organized household, although, his personal life is anything but.

He fills his glass with wine just before turning off the lights in the kitchen. Wanders listlessly through the open space between the furniture when the phone rings, not his cell phone, which makes him curious and on the heel of curiosity, he feels crushed.

Hello,†he says in pronounced Australian accent, bending down to put the glass of wine on the black lacquer coffee table.

“I realize I haven’t been exactly nice to you.”

“Oh. Hello to you too.†Surprised at hearing the voice. He avoided looking at the Caller ID. The voice he wants to hear wouldn’t call his landline.

“I think you should come to Los Angeles.”

“Huh? Why? Something happened?â€

“I’m not sure. I would like to keep it that way. I guess you should know my influence has a limit.â€

“You’re kidding me, right,†he says. Fingernails scrape back and forth over his buzz cut hair style as he sits on the couch legs spreading and him hunching over the knees as if in pain.

The laugh that trickles through the phone line sounds strained. “There was a time he would listen to me. I think I’ve worn out my welcome and been put firmly in a mother’s place. If I didn’t know better I would suspect it was his way of getting back at me for my interference.â€

“Shit, I have no clue to what you’re talking about,†and feels instant contriteness. “I’m sorry.â€

“That’s okay. Have you been keeping up with the news?â€

Fuck yes but he doesn’t say the words out loud. “Is this what have you worried?†Heath draws up a leg to chest. Starts chewing on his fingernail between comments. He’s seen the pictures for sure on the net. Stared at them for hours until he felt foolish for doing so. His publicist also sent him copies along with a hand-written post-it-note: do you know the story here. And that gesture upsets him even more. There’s nothing he could do about it from New York.

“Honestly. I am.” The voice cracks when normally the voice is strong just like the lady who owns that voice. Heath feels a wave of sympathy for her and for himself.

“I’ve wanted nothing but happiness and the best for my children,†she continues saying. “It’s difficult for me to sit back and watch something I feel will do harm to them, so…”

Heath imagines her shrugging her shoulders at this point just like her son.

“…I offer unwanted advice. I’m uncomfortable with these people, Heath. I’m worry he’s being taken advantage of. You know how he is. He came to our home twice two sheets to the wind. His father had to literally drag him to the shower and clean him up. I just want to say my opposition to you has never been about you as a person. I think you’re a fine man. A little crude to the public. But you’ve cleaned up just fine. I guess he has something of his mother in him.†She laughs softly.

“Thank you, Naomi,” he says. Heath didn’t realize he’s been waiting for her approval. Not until he heard her apology. Naomi, though, is not the sole reason for his current state of affairs.

“My pleasure, indeed. He won’t talk to me. I guess you know why. I’m sorry for causing you and my son grief. But please, Heath, you must come to LA. I think he needs you.”

After they hung up, Heath picks up the wine and plods over to one of the large framed windows. Sipping on the wine, he stares out to the homes lined up in a row across the street highlighted by lamp post lights and the dull moon glow. Brownstone buildings shaped similar to his own home he purchased months ago when he’s decided LA wasn’t the place for him. Seems like forever ago.

In some of those homes are families. Young children, teenagers, parents going about in their everyday lives. Then there are the single folks. Tough Brooklyn with its own attitude. He loves this place. He’s just one of the neighbors to them and not this supposed celebrity living a wild and glamorous lifestyle.

The second after the phone conversation ends, Heath calls the airline to book an early morning flight to LA. A call he should have made long ago.

He wanders listlessly through the open space between the furniture to one of the large framed windows.

He closes the curtains to the windows shutting off the light from the outside. Nearby is a floor lamp. The silver colored stem is tall and curves as it reaches for the ceiling. The rounded globe at the top end of the stem encases a soft white light. Heath flips the switch to chase away the darkness. The lamp is a housewarming gift. A special gift he willingly displayed in his new home. The source of the gift a lovely treasure he has disappointed. Jake. His fingers absently fondle the cold stem while he’s lost in rumination.

Eventually he makes his way over to the black leather couch and sits down. On the coffee table is a book. He knows the name of the book. It’s been there on the table for weeks. Coming home from work he’d see the book. Think to put it back to its rightful place on the bookshelf. Holds the weight in his hands, and then changes his mind. Heath hasn’t the heart to let it disappear from his view.

The phone starts ringing. Clearly the sound disturbs the silence and Heath. The sound jerks him out of his reverie. He sets down the half empty glass of wine and picks up the handset. He answers the phone without checking for the name on the caller ID display.

The airport doors open to a balmy Los Angeles. New York has more humidity in the air. Hard concrete and tall bricked buildings soak up the heat like asphalts parking lots. But it also has historic character, aged old melting pot of cultures and traditions. Heath loves New York. People there seem unaffected by the sight of celebrities to a lesser degree than in Los Angeles. New Yorkers have attitudes, grit; it’s a place where Heath can just be.

While hailing for a taxi someone snaps a picture, the glint of sparkle reflecting off the silver outer casing. He looks, confirms that it’s some damn paparazzo. Anger stirring in his chest, Heath frowns at the man and considers giving him the middle finger. Changes his mind because running afoul of the paparazzi isn’t the reason why he’s here in Los Angeles. Naomi would be proud of him. Would Jake? But couldn’t they just leave him the fuck alone.

The cabbie lets Heath off at a six story brown brick building with green colored door frames. Double doors and clear glass takes up most of the space. He walks inside the building ignoring the concierge. At the elevator waiting, he thinks, can I do this? What can he say? Will Jake even invite him inside? Regrets. Live long enough, it’s bound to happen even for someone as young as Heath. It’s what you experience from those regrets that are important.

The second time Heath knocks on the apartment door and doesn’t receive an answer, he realizes with a strong sense of disappointment Jake isn’t home. Either that or Jake is out cold, which could be a possibility. That man can sleep like a rock when he’s run full throttle on whatever he’s working on.

Letting himself in, Heath isn’t prepared for what he sees. Jesus. Guess he knows why Naomi is upset.

The place is a wreck. Stinks of beer and days old moldy dust. Magazines are strewn all over without concernment to order. A stack of newspapers on the sofa. Beer cans bent to half shape are lying on the floor and on the table. Several pairs of sneakers are just there in the center of the living room. Heath hates this shit, tripping over footwear when footwear should be somewhere in the closet.

He steps over books stacked askew like dominoes and goes down the hallway to the master bedroom. Not much better there and there’s no Jake. But he has slept there. Bed unmade and the bedcovers falling halfway off the bed. Underwear on the floor. Clothes fill up a green garbage bag to the brim and Heath doesn’t have a clue whether they are clean or dirty. Everything pitiful looking about the apartment just like those clothes, almost homeless and uncared for.

Heath scratches his head and thinks where the fuck is Jake. You don’t have the right to ask, mate. Shrugging off the shoulder strap he stashes his duffle bag in a corner. Pulls off baseball cap and drops it on the bureau. Heath begins the task of cleaning up, setting right the place he thinks of as his second home.

Jake loves to cook. Heath likes to watch. He loves distracting his lover from his task by pushing into him covering up his whole back, Heath wrapping his body around Jake. He would reach down and place his hand over Jake’s as he spooned food into a pot or container. Rock his body from side to side as Jake’s body followed the flow. Jake pressing into him, getting hotter by the minute, struggling to finish cooking. “You gonna set us on fire,†he said.

“Not the kind of fire I’m looking for, Gyllenhaal.†Heath would nip Jake on the neck.

“Screw dinner.†Jake would shove him back, and attack him. Clothes off, Jake in his lap, riding him right there in the kitchen with the scent of food all around them.

His cooking skills have gotten better under Jake’s tutelage but he prefers Jake cooking all the time. Heath smiles at the memory of how Jake would go about teaching him. A growling noise rumbles in his stomach. Yeah, yeah. I’m getting to it. The meatballs are cooked, already prepared by Jake. He’s stirring the spaghetti sauce on the stove when he hears the apartment door opens.

“Shiiit. Mom.†Jake yells like some girly girl.

“Mom. What are you?†Heath can’t place this voice but it sounds familiar. Then he hears “About damn time, boy. Someone cleaned up this dump.â€

“Shut up.â€

Jakes barrels ahead into the kitchen “Didn’t I tell you…†He halts right there on the spot, eyes going wide, “Heath,†he whispers.

“Hey there, mate.†Heath has his back to the kitchen counter anticipating Jake’s entrance.

“What the hell are you doing here?†A pair of bleary eyes darts around the room not meeting Heath’s glare. Dark circles under the less than brilliant blues are obvious against the pale skin. He looks as though he hasn’t slept in weeks.

“Came to be your personal maid. Didn’t you get word?†Stop, stop. This isn’t how he wants to greet Jake. It’s the lack of warmth in Jake’s welcome.

“Fuck you.â€

Shit. “You can do that too.â€

“Hey y’all.†Blonde hair reveals itself over Jake’s shoulder. Heath now knows the voice, although he hasn’t met the man. Slick, rag-head wearing Matthew McConaughey’s. Heath doesn’t like Matthew touching Jake as if he’s the right. Take your fucking hands off Jake.

“Are you alone?†Jake asks, glancing around the kitchen as though he’s expecting a hidden object to pop out into the opening. The kitchen is only but so big.

“Yeah.†Heath looks sharply at Jake trying his best to ignore the growing smirk on Matthew’s face.

“You gonna introduce us?†Matt asks, wrapping an arm around Jake’s shoulder.

Jake rolls his eyes at Matt and hugs him across his back. “Matthew McConaughey this is Heath Ledger. Heath, Matt.â€

Matt waves at Heath. “Hey, dude.â€

Heath nods his head in acknowledgement. Let his eyes take in the way Jake is holding onto Matt. He turns his back to them pretending to check the food. But Heath is ablaze and not in lust. He picks up the spoon on the counter, his fingers wrapping around the handle and tighten in a fist.

“Whoa, now I call that a brush off.â€

“Will you be quiet.â€

“Look man, I don’t know what’s going on here. That’s your problem. You coming to the party tonight or not?â€

“Um, I don’t…â€

“It’s in your best interest.â€

Heath drops the spoon and twists the knob turning off the stove burner. He swirls around and asks gruffly “You got some place to go, Jake?â€

“No need to get hostile, “ says Matt, dropping his arm and holds up the palm of his hands as though waving a white flag.

“If you don’t mind, I’m talking to Jake.â€

“Well, see now. Jake is a friend of mine.†Matt says, putting his arm back around Jake’s shoulder. “You, I just met.â€

“Fuck this.†Heath blows out of the kitchen brushing pass Matt on his way out. Those pictures he’s been staring at of Matt, Lance Armstrong, and Jake are messing with his head, forming into images he doesn’t want to imagine.

He hears Matt say “What bug crawled up his ass?â€

And Jake conciliatory tone “We had a falling out…â€

“So…â€

“C’mon Matt. He’s a friend. He flew in from New York. Have to see what’s up with him.â€

“All right, man. You’re coming, right. There’s going to be women, booze, and shit. We’re gonna have a grand old time.â€

“Yeah, yeah. Get outta here.†There’s nervous laugh coming from Jake. “I’ll see you later, man.â€

Voices fade, a door closes, Heath sits on the bed with his head in his hands. He has no right to blow up like he did. He can’t fix the problem if they are angry at each other.

“I see you’ve been busy.†Jake throws another pair of sneakers by the bed.

Heath’s neck cranes upward. “This place was like a pig sty. Where the fuck have you been?†Despite the heat coming out of his mouth, another kind of heat is stirring down below. Jake looks good in biker shorts. Long legs are thinner but muscular. Black spandex shaping over the place he’d love to bury his face in.

“None of your damn business, Ledger. You’re not my mother.†Jake tugs off his t-shirt. Heath straightens his back looking at Jake.

“If I was your mother, I would turn you over my knee and teach you better manners.â€

Suddenly, Jake is in Heath’s face. Grabs a fist full of the shirt Heath is wearing. “I would like to you see you try.â€

Heath first instinct is to shove but the smell hits him full force in the face. “Damn, you smell like a fucking brewery. You drunk?â€

“Apparently not drunk enough.â€

“Courtesy of your new friends?†Heath press down on Jake’s fingers and forces them open, removes them from his shirt.

“At least they’re honest. What the hell you come off barging into my home. Showing up like you own me.â€

“Jake, I tried calling you. You haven’t…â€

“Took you two fucking months to get up off your ass and show up here. You know what. I don’t want to talk to you. I’m going to take a shower.â€

Jake storms off towards the bathroom. Heath jumps up from the bed following him. “Jake, wait. We have to talk.â€

“Talk. You do anymore talking I just may fucking die.†Jake slams the door on Heath. Locks it, preventing Heath from storming in.

God, what a mess. He stretches down on the bed and rolls over to his back. Exhausted beyond comprehension. The picture of Matt hands on Jake, his Jake bobbing like a caricature in Matt’s arms. He hates Matt without even knowing the fella. He misses Jake with his whole being. He has to find a way through or God, he just don’t know what the hell he’s going to do.

It’s all too much for Heath. He tries to stay awake. He can’t fight the draining pull of stress, regrets, and loneliness. In a flash Heath is out cold.

The weight of a heavy thump jars him out of a troubled dark void. The weight is moist, feels like pure skin, smells like soap, smells like Jake. It pins him flat on his back to the bed. Heath hugs the weight to his body before he even open his eyes.

“I must be out of my mind but I fucking need this.â€

Heath isn’t about to deny Jake or his needs, it’s what they both need. “Bring it on,†he mumbles, spreading open his legs as far as his jeans will allow him. Hands reaching down and grab a good portion of Jake’s bare ass, massaging, reacquainting himself with the feel of tight muscles. Heath is so hard it hurt, the tight jeans stretching across his bulge provides him with no relief.

Jake wiggles out of his embrace. Begins unbuttoning shirt and jeans. Helps Heath removes his clothes. Feet are bare because he likes the feel of carpet and hardwood floor underneath his skin.

“How long?†he asks as Jake licks the side of his neck. He tries to roll on top but Jake has other ideas. Keeps him pinned on his back.

“25 minutes or so. I sat in the chair and waited for you to wake up. Took too long. Don’t move, I’ve got this covered.â€

“Little shit. You’re as demanding as ever. Have your way with me.†Heath lets his body relax melting in the bed. Stretches out both arms to the side. Jake sliding over him, kissing his chest, moving down to one of his nipples, biting and the licking it The point of pleasure shooting down to his dick.

Heath groans. Can’t keep his hands off Jake any longer. He runs his fingers through hair still damp from the shower. Nudges his legs open and Jake falls in between, naturally. Heath rolls up connecting to a hard stomach.

“I miss you,†Heath says.

“Shh… Don’t say a word Heath. Not a single word.â€

There’s so much pain in that voice, it causes Heath to quiver in shame, tries to make up for his part wrapping arms around Jake hugging him close giving him comfort. Heath stroking every inch of Jake’s body he could reach while Jake takes him. Plunges his tongue inside of Heath’s mouth, re-staking his claim.

“God,†Heath gasps in between kisses, the feeling overwhelming him.

They are so hard for each other. Hands, arms, legs, touching sensitive places. Couldn’t keep fingers from tracing the lines of hips and legs, from pressing muscles in the chest. Couldn’t keep their mouth off the other. Jake is swallowing him down whole. Heath struggling not to thrust up fast and hard into the mouth. . “Jake. I’m going to blow, †he says, helplessly.

Jake rears back onto the flat of his feet, straddles Heath. “Shit.†Jake gasping for air, water dripping from his forehead. He’s like a locomotive putting on sudden brakes.

Whatever it is this urgency goes deeper than them making love. Not even their getting together the first time was the overwhelming need tainted with a searing desperation. But Heath wants more than just being the recipient of Jake’s need for his body. He reaches up and strokes his chest, fingers trailing down to Jake’s hardness and Heath wraps his fingers around the head, thumb gently sliding over the slickness there.

Heath grip forms a tight fist . Jake begins twisting hips sliding back and forth. He groans “Old God. Heath.â€

“Yeah, baby. Love seeing you like this. â€

Bending down kissing hips, Jake slips out of Heath’s hold. Dark hair strands grazing against skin as Jake moves up higher kissing his way around what needed to be touched, nipping and sucking on stomach, chest, taking his nipples between his lips biting down and then licking away the stinging pain there. All Heath could do is hold on because it appears Jake has complete control over him. If this is what Jake wants, he doesn’t mind, not at all. Except he’d love to feel Jake in his mouth, the salty taste of him on his tongue.

Jake tells him “Fuck me.†His body hovers over Heath as he searches for the lube in the night table beside the bed.

Fingers covered in lube slide in and out of Jake as Jake pumps his thighs up and down positioned astride Heath’s hips. Heath, while holding up his upper body on an elbow, prepares Jake. “Do I need a condom?†A finger pressing the inside of Jake’s body.

It’s a terrible question. No need taking chances. Jake with eyes half closed in desire, mouth open, doesn’t miss a beat whispers “No.â€

Then he says “I’m ready,†and pushes Heath down on the bed and lavish lube on Heath’s cock. Places his body at an angle of where he wants to go and thrust down.

Hot, hot heat. Heath groans joining in with Jake’s exclamation. Home. He’s home. They’re both feeling it. Jake easing himself onto Heath, moaning every time Heath thrust into Jake. Until finally Heath is completely inside, breathing hard, stomach muscles clenching, and Jake is riding him, up and down, at a fast pace.

“I’m coming… Fuck.†Jake is grunting. His hands gripping Heath’s so hard he thinks he’ll have broken bones.

Heath, though, pulls Jake forward and throws his arms around Jake’s body and flipping him on his back. “What the…†Jake’s eyes fly open staring directly into Heath’s.

“You’re beautiful,†Heath says and kisses Jake’s mouth.

Jake hugs Heath on the shoulders and swings his legs up high around Heath’s back. “I’m going to make you feel so good,†he tells Heath.

Heath enters Jake, slowly, until he’s fully seated inside and then he moves, at a snail’s pace which quickly intensifies to a fast pace. No way can he slow down. He’s wanted Jake like forever and this, this has been too long in coming. “Fuck. I’m coming,†Heath says, wanting to hang in there just a little longer, stroking Jake, hoping they would do this together.

Jake comes totally apart clenching Heath. Heath cries out, thrust deeply inside Jake. His whole body shaking from loving Jake.

And when he gets the strength to place a kiss on Jake’s mouth, he sees tears rolling down the sides of Jake’s face.

Jake says “Can she give you this?â€

The color of the kitchen walls are as white as the skin on Jake’s body. The wood trimming running the four corners of the ceiling are the same color as Jake’s hair. The ceramic counter top are shaped in squares. The squares are of alternate colors of white, black, and blue. The same color blue as Jake’s eyes. Heath has never associated the décor in the kitchen to Jake. Too occupied with more interesting entreaties like making time with his man.

Jake is finishing the dinner, and the silence is killing Heath. Heath sits at the kitchen table watching a naked back, black silk underwear, and long strong legs. He can’t distract Jake with a joke or do something stupid to make him laugh. Heath is still reeling from Jake’s question in the midst of pleasure and obvious pain.

Jake did ask Heath was he hungry.

“Are you going to the party?†he asks, trying some way to break the quietness.

“How long are you staying?†Jake avoids looking at Heath. He bends down to the cabinet below and pulls out the coriander to drain the pasta.

“Leave tomorrow night.†Heath mutters while chewing his thumbnail.

“Why did you bother to come. You fly in, fuck me, then take off again. God, I’m so fucking easy.†Jake removes the pot from the stove burner practically throwing the pasta into the coriander.

“No, Jake. You wouldn’t answer my calls. I wanted to make sure you were okay.†There’s no way he’s going to tell Jake his own mother has been worried about him.

Jake moves quick when he wants to. A spatula is in his hand and he’s looming over Heath. Heath tries getting out the way. “What. I’m worth one day of your time. You breeze in here. Pound my ass to the mattress. Then off you go. What do you want from me Heath. I can’t take this shit anymore. God, I can kick your ass back to Australia. Tell me something, is she living with you, sleeping in your bed?â€

“Are you fucking that Matthew character?†It’s an instant reaction of offense. He knows he screwed up badly when Jake found him in bed with that woman.
“You moron. You’re not turning this shit back on me. I’m not the one who betrayed you.†He stalks back to the counter. Picks up the coriander filled with pasta. It goes flying across the room. Some of the pasta landing on Heath’s chest. Heath scrambles out of the chair. The hot pasta stinging his skin.

“I’m outta here. You can do whatever. Go back to New York. Fuck that girl. “

“If you go to that party, don’t expect to see me again,†Heath yells at Jake’s departing back.

Jake whirls around and points a finger at Heath. “What a laugh. Thought you were already gone.â€

Minutes later the front door slams shut. Heath sits like a stone at the table. You could’ve told him the truth, you ass. What the hell am I going to do.

Heath does another cleanup. Seems like that is the only thing he can do well.

Heath considers his options. He could call the airport and see if they could change his flight plan. He could try to get some much needed sleep. He could hit someone. He could scream and the neighbors probably would call the police. He’s so fucked. He opens the refrigerator and grabs a can of beer. Changes his mind and put the beer back. To hell with it. He’s going after Jake, going to crash in on the party.

Jake’s telephone rings.

“Yeah.†He knows who’s calling him.

“Did you talk to him?â€

He laughs sourly. “If that’s what you want to call it.â€

“Let me have it.â€

He tells Naomi everything. She listens without interruption. Funny thing Jake’s mom, Heath has always liked her. Liked her firm but down-to-earth manner even though he knew she was against Jake and his relationship. She’s becoming a friend while he’s losing her son.

“Damn. I thought I was the cause of your problem.â€

“I’m my worse own enemy.†If Jake only knew the half of it, he probably would call him a fool and then laugh ‘til he’s bent over.

“I’d say but you do have valid concerns. I should rant at you for cheating on my son. But shit happens. Do you love him?

“I’m in love with Jake, Naomi.â€

“I knew that. Just wanted to hear you say it. So what are you going to do about it?â€

“I’m going to the party. I’ll get on my knees if I have to.â€

“Good. But save your knees.†He hears her chuckling. “Just drag my stubborn son off somewhere and play nice.â€

“Okay,†he says, laughing.

“Would you like me to reschedule your flight?â€

“Wow. I now know where Jake gets his persistence. You’re a tough lady. Donna won’t like it. Hold on for a sec.†Heath walks into the bedroom and pulls out his flight ticket from the duffle bag. He gives the information to Naomi.

“Is she your agent?â€

“Yeah.â€
“I’ll take care of Donna. I know her. I’ll tell her you’re in negotiation for your life.â€

Heath truly burst into laughter. The first real joy he’s had in months. “I think you’re right about that one.â€

Naomi joins in, bonding the two in camaraderie long overdue.

It’s wild. Not his kind of thing. Loud music, too many people, and he stands there watching the scenery unfolds while the taxi pulls away from the curb. Some wrote Jake is boring. Heath amuses himself reading the crap on the net. He knows differently and if anyone is boring, it’s him. This partying thing played out long time ago in his book. Did quite a bit of it in his younger days. But now he prefers quiet nights at home. Lying about listening to music, sweet talking Jake into something pleasurable for both of them.

There’s a line of people wandering around the side of Matt’s Malibu beach house. Heath follows them instead of going through the house. Runs straight into Matthew rag-head wearing McConaughey.

“Hey, you made it, buddy.†Matthew hitting him on the back as though they were best of friends.

“Did you expect me?†Heath says, unwilling to give Matt an inch of friendliness.

“Honestly, didn’t think you had the guts to show up here.â€

“What’s your problem, dude.?â€

“You’re the problem.†Heath notices the smirk is gone from Matt’s face. There’s a shift in the wind and it’s blowing his way. Matt is tense and the blue eyes, lighter than Jake are cold to see. “Come on over here, buddy. I wanna to talk to you.â€

Heath is curious but not afraid. He follows Matt to a spot where Matt tells the people to take a hike. He’s a bum and he’s rude.

“You got me here.â€

“Look, dude. You may not like me. Don’t mean shit to me. But Jake. When I say he’s a friend. I mean it. A friend, you got that.â€

Heath shrugs. “So why are you telling me.â€

“Because he came here messed up. I don’t know what the fuck he sees in you. Fucking rude. Jake is meeting with the producer who’s going to film Lance’s biography. I got him calmed down. If you gonna start shit, take it someplace else.â€

“What film? Jake is up playing Lance?†Heath is confused. He’s embarrassed because pieces of the picture are falling into place and those pieces didn’t in fit with his earlier impression.

“You didn’t know?â€

“No,†he says truthfully even though admitting the truth to Matt has him feeling small. Jake should’ve told him.

“You two got some messed up relationship.â€

“It’s none of your damn business, McConaughey.â€

“Calm the fuck down.â€

“You know where Jake is?â€

“Is this going to be friendly or will I have to kick your ass out of here.â€

“I’m trying to negotiate the rest of my life.â€

Matt holds Heath’s eyes, looking for truth, maybe. “Negotiating for your life, huh. Figures. You two got it bad.†Matt smiles like he’s just solved a great mystery. â€I’ll take you to him but let me tell you something. Any sign of trouble will make me an evil man.â€

“Thanks,†Heath tells Matt. He’s thinking Matt getting in his face would be the least of his problems.

“There are a lot of people here. Some important. Be cool. Not everyone is as accepting as me.â€

“Yeah, I hear you.â€

“Like I said. Jake is a friend. Fuck with my friends and you gotta deal with me.â€

Turns out Matt didn’t have to point out the location of Jake. They were working their way to the backyard. People stopped Matt making conversation. Some recognizing Heath said hello. A woman takes the opportunity to chat up Matt. She’s using every arsenal in her bag of tricks trying to keep Matt’s attention on her. Her huge breasts bouncing, looking ready to spill over her thin bikini top. Heath chuckles silently watching Matt putting the moves on the girl. He’s anxious and decides to move on leaving Matt with the man eating breasts.

Rounding a corner of the house, Heath spots a baseball cap sitting askew on top of a tall, dark haired man. Moustache and beard covering up that mouth he knows so well. A girl talking away at Jake and Jake nodding his head but it becomes obvious the girl doesn’t have Jake’s full attention. He’s gazing off to somewhere.

Roaming blue eyes settles on his hungry eyes. They grow wide with surprise. White teeth make an appearance as the mouth on the Jake’s face spread from cheek to cheek. Warmth feels up empty spaces, makes the beat in his chest go thump. Nothing so beautiful than to have his man gift him with a shit-eating grin.

“Hey, partner,†he says, sliding up to Jake and nudging him on the shoulder. The girl moves on, seeing Jake is ignoring her, giving her his back.

“Where’d you come from?†Jake shoves him back.

Heath shrugs and gives Jake a lopsided grin “Someone forgot to give me an invitation.â€

“Didn’t think you’d be interested.†Jake lowers his head.

“You gotta know,†he says, moving in closer to Jake and whispers in Jake’s ear. “I’ll always be interested in you.â€

Jake raises his head slowly facing Heath. They connect, eyes drawn to each other. The blues assessing Heath, searching for something only Jake could know. The browns, telling Jake what Heath failed to say through words: Sorry, sorry, forgive me.

The space closes in on them, they kiss.

More than the touch of the lips but not sexual either. It’s a can we start over kiss. A kiss of saying hello and I’m so damn glad you’re here.

And they hear the rippling effect in the air: gasps, the Oh-My-God, did you see?

He couldn’t have planned it better. Doesn’t have to fall down to his knees and begged for Jake’s forgiveness. In a split second, Heath has gone against the advice of Matthew, his publicist, and his mother-in-law, Naomi. Gives his lover exactly what he needs, acknowledgement. They belong together.

“Think you should warn a guy,†says Jake. Excitement bubbling up in the blue eyes.

“You make me crazy. You know that don’t you.â€

Jake laughs “My pleasure. Let’s get out of here. I hear a buzz coming.â€

Matt meets them out front with hands on the hips. He’s no longer hostile but the smirk is still there and something else in his eyes. Could that be approval? “You take advice real well, mate.†Then he smiles. “Shit. Some kiss. You could do better. You know there’s going to be talking.â€
“
“That’s why we leaving,†Jake says.

“Leaving me with the cleanup.†Matt laughs.

Whatever crap is going to spill out from Matt’s mouth, Heath knows it’s going to be good. All good.

“You all okay, my man?â€

“I’m fine. Is this going to be a problem with the producer?

“It better not be. Lance got it covered.â€

“Good. Still going to whip your ass for the part.â€

“You’ll try.†Matt faces Heath. “Glad to know I won’t have to kick your butt.â€

“Yeah, like you and how many.†Heath doubts Matt and him will be good friends. “Thanks,†he says to Matt, anyway. That is about as much appreciation he offers the scoundrel.

“Go on and get out here. Jake. See you tomorrow.â€

“No . He won’t,†Heath interjects. Jake whips his head around staring at Heath. “I’m not leaving tomorrow,†Heath tells him.

“Yes.†Jake pumps the air with a fist.

As they head over to Jake’s car, Heath says, “Don’t you have something to tell me?â€

“What?â€

“Why you’re hanging out with rag-head.â€

“Man, that’s bad.†Jake begins telling Heath about Sony making a bio of Lance Armstrong and that both he and Matt were up for the lead part.

They are back at the apartment. Soft music is playing in the background. Their stomachs full of spaghetti and meatballs. Heath is sprawled in a relaxed state on the couch. Jake is sitting on floor between Heath’s legs. An arm lying on one of Heath’s knees.

Heath fingers the soft hair lying on his thigh. “Pick a city.â€

“Antarctica.†Jake says, giggling, and looks up at Heath.

“I said a city, not the South Pole, smartass.†Heath smacks Jake on the forehead.

“Hey. Watch it. All right. New York.â€

“Good answer.†Heath let a smile crawl on his face.

The smile dims on Jake’s face. Sits up and crawls over Heath’s body, dropping himself down next to Heath. “You know we ‘re going to have to talk about it. I don’t want to. But what happens next time we have a fight. I don’t even know, where are we? Together not together. Shit, I hate this.â€

They were legitimate questions. Ones Heath has been waiting to hear from Jake. He may not be thrilled going over bad history but Jake deserves better. “Talk then.â€

“The girl.†Jake let out a short laugh. “Would’ve joined you if I wasn’t so goddamn angry.â€

“Yeah, baby. And I would’ve kicked your ass,†and Heath rubs his thumb over Jake’s bottom lip.

Jake pulls back. “Can’t happen again, Heath. Don’t think I can handle seeing you with someone else.â€

“God.†Heath reaches around to Jake’s neck and pulls him toward him. Just so he could touch Jake’s face, feel the warm of his skin next to his, wants to stroke away the pain he has put there. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t have any real excuse except I was fucked up over our arguments. Scared you would leave me.â€

“I know I’m demanding. I wouldn’t have left you, Heath. We needed to work out our problem, not add to it.â€

“Yeah, I know. I got drunk in a bar. She made a play and you know the rest. That’s all it was. Never saw her before then.†Heath starts laughing. Jake looks at him as if he’s lost his mind.

“What’s funny,†Jake says, none too happy.

“You wanna know what she said the night you walked out?â€

Jake shakes his head. “Go ahead. Tell me.â€

“She asked me was I gay.â€

“What did you say. Hell no.†Jake’s eyes went wide waiting for Heath’s answer.

“Told her. ‘Damn right I am. That was my mate walking out on me.’ I was already having performance issues and shit, that got her out of my bed quick. So you’ll know. I outted myself twice.â€

Squeal of laughter bounces around the room. Heath joins in. The strain enveloping them easing away through the relief of laugher.

“Performance issues, huh.†Jake is smug with knowing.

“Yeah. Heath Ledger is gay. All I have eyes for is for your body, eyes, mouth, and your gorgeous dick. Screwed up by Jake Gyllenhaal for life. If you still want me.â€

“Damn right I do. I love you Heath.â€

“Good.†They lean in and kiss. Heath reaches behind him, finds what he’s looking for, and lets go of lips making demands on his. “Jake?†he asks, catching his breath.

“Let’s go to bed.â€

Heath grabs Jake’s hand, forcing the fingers open, he lays his hand flat against Jake’s.

“What’s this?â€

“Pick a city.â€

“New York. Is this? Please don’t let this be a joke.â€

Heath can’t wait. Brought up his hands, pull a shocked Jake to him. He thrust his tongue inside Jake’s mouth, taking him. God this is so what he wants. “Yeah,†he says, breathing in Jake’s air. “Want you with me everyday and every night. Tired of living by myself in that big house in New York.â€

“It’s all I wanted, us together.†Jake lets go. The set of keys in Jake’s hand is the color blue. He’s rubbing them between his thumb and index fingers as though he isn’t sure they’re real. “What about your reservations. You said us being together could destroy our career.â€

A snort, then a nip on Jake’s neck, who has latched onto Heath like he has no plans of ever letting Heath go. “It’s too late. I blew it when I kissed you at Matt’s.â€

Jake has to laugh. Heath feels the rumbling of happy sounds on his chest. “Yeah, I think you’re right. It’s going to work out. I don’t doubt we’ll lose a chance in a film because of some paranoid, narrow minded assholes. But it’ll be worth it. People’s attitudes change all the time.â€

Heath leans back, running fingers down Jake’s face. “Just remember one thing, baby.â€

“What?â€

“Promise me you won’t ever let the dissension to our being together get in the way of us being together. Remember I love you.â€

“I’ve got your back, babe.â€